Monday, July 22, 2013

Amor, Curiosidad, Prozac y Dudas-Lucía Etxebarría (1997)

This is a quick read-you can do it in a day, if necessary.

Wiki:
Amor, curiosidad, prozac y dudas, es la primera novela de la escritora española Lucía Etxebarria, publicada en 1997.
Como en otras novelas de esta autora que se define como feminista, se exploran aquí distintos modelos de mujer contemporánea: la perfecta ama de casa, la chica que vive la noche y la gran ejecutiva, tres hermanas y sus conflictos.
Por el gran éxito que obtuvo, se considera una de las novelas clave de la llamada Generación X en España, junto a Historias del Kronen de José Ángel Mañas o Caídos del cielo, de Ray Loriga.

Brief, but probably useful, reseña available here.

My notes
 
A de atípica
First polvo in a month with a guy with small equipment who took too long.
Flashback to childhood-went to Catholic school, disappointed to find out that God was a man and a father (since her father was no good). Also, recognized breach between blonde statue of Mary and real, morena Mary, personaje secundario. Remembers learning about virginity….algo que todos los varones intentarían arrrebatarse a toda costa.
Now she’s a waitress, also a student. Sisters: one is executive, one is maruja (housewife). She has endometriosis, which can cause sterility..then finds out she has an excess of testosterone. And her sister Rosa (exec.) has a lack of serotonin, so she has prozac.
B de bajón
In life, everything accumulates. Recounts her friendship as a girl with a 13 y.o boy.
C de curro
“Por eso nos gustan tanto los paraísos artificiales: nostalgia de tiempos mejores.”  Mentions working overtime for crappy pay. Starts to devalue herself and her life (drinking + drugs). So one day, she hits “delete all” and leaves that job. And now she’s a waitress.
D de deseo y destierro
(Note: very contemporary and sometimes vulgar language) . Keeps partying, doing drugs, hooking up.  “Generation X. Hay que joderse.”
E de enclaustrada, enamorada, empleada y encadenada
Notes how her sisters have a pretty negative opinion of the fact that she works in a bar.  Mentions to her sister than men her age have been living with their moms for 20 odd years, moms who didn’t work and just lived to pamper then and schools that told them to look for mujeres dulces, calladitas y sumisas. Yet, she is a feminista. YET, even though her sister Rosa gives her a hard time, Rosa stands up for her.
F de frustrada
Mentions university study about the low chances women with degrees have to get married after the age of thirty. Again, mentions how many hours she works and how she has to wear a suit to be taken seriously. Mentions eating low-cal processed food and watching TV.
As a child, ‘tenía mis libros, mis discos y mi universo propio, y no me importaba aquel de los demás’. Always mentions how she was at the top of her class.
Sees her childhood friend Gonzalo at her sister Ana’s wedding. feels sexually attracted to him.
G de gastada y gris
Mentions that men catcall her on the street, even though she’s no knockout. Mentions the key difference bt she and Ana: Putón vs. maruja.
Iain, her boyfriend, had dumped her.
And, a half an hour after her visit with her sister started, she goes…”habré cumplido con mis deberes de hermana.”
H de hastío
Tells story of her parents…Mamá era niña de familia bien de San Sebastían, studied to be a pharmacist, quite conservative university life. Met her dad at a party. Dad studied economics and made her laugh a lot. She’s closer to her mom’s family than her dad’s family. But then, he drank too much. Her dad left when she was 12 years old. He got physically abusive.
I de intolerancia
In her purse (microcosm of her world)- tampons, book, kleenex, condoms, undies, lipstick…
Lots of talk of sex, orgasms, etc. Conclusion: ellos lo tienen más fácil.
J de jeringuilla
“El cielo muestra un aspecto tan gris como mi propia vida” Passes a group of politoxicómanos in the street.
“¿Qué sentido tiene la vida de una mujer de treinta años brillante, professional, bien pagada y sola?”
K de kool
First time with Iain, she was really drunk. Yet, since she has an impression of Brits as kinda nutty in the head, she worries about her safety. But, turns out, he’s not a psychokiller.
L de lágrimas.
Says she feels like a puzzle piece in the wrong puzzle box (this book shows a person’s existential crisis… Is this postmodernism?)
La vida es como la cola de un supermercado: lenta, incómoda y llena de gente insoportable
Now she’s with Borja. Mentions impatience of everyone in the supermarket. She screams when she forgets her wallet, then cries from the embarrassment of it all.
LL de llanto y llaga
We don’t miss the people we loved. We miss the part of us that they take with them. “He crecido entre discos”. Gonzalo showed her lots of other musicians...Dylan and Hendrix. mentions that the group she loved the most were the kinks….
M de melancolía y mustia
Information from her life is in her brain, floppy disks, computers, etc (technology and the modern human) Leads you through chain of consciousness…saw a girl who reminded me of a girl I went to school with. Remembers gradeschool crushes. Divides her class into girls that are ratitas grises and listas gatitas. Feels more empathy for the black sheep. Mentions her first kiss and how unaware she was of the whole show.
N de neurótica, naufragio, y nostalgia
No one talked about sex in her family. Mentions how her COUSIN was not good at “it”. Mentions renting porn to see how people had sex- “atípica educación sexual”. Her bf Iain was a jealous type, didn’t talk to her friends. She starts living with him, poco a poco. Finds a letter from one of his ex-gfs.  Wonders why he never mentions her. Ends up breaking up with him because he’s a jealous guy and she fancies herself a modern woman.
Ñ for ñoñería
Mentions being encerrada with some frequency. Chapter seems to be written in Ana’s perspective of Cristina. Mentions a drunk, wreckless teenager, goes to the hospital for drug use, how she cut her legs and made the bathroom all bloody. Really, there were two Cristinas-the hysterical one and the super enchanting lovely one.
O de obsessón
Speaks of depression. Suicidal. Cuts herself in front of Iain. Yet she’s obsessed with him…unhealthy relationship to say the least.
P de poder
Palabras que me definen: E-mail, proyectos, equipos, multimedia, liderazgo…My rise was meteoric. Graduated at 22, directora financiera by 28 (Ana again?) Had an anonymous caller. Lost her virginity at 21 to a professor. But, then, never had a good relationship because of her role in the business world.
Q de querer, queja, y quiebra.
List of desperate lovers who never love again once their true love is gone.
R  de rota, rancor y rendida
My marriage is ending (ana’s perspeetive) and Borja has made it this long for the child. She’s given up on going to the market every day, keeping the house clean, etc. Doubts her belief in God. Doesn’t forgive her father for going with another woman. Mentions two guys who kinda take advantage of her. Then, she met Borja, who was a nice boy. Wanted to get married in the church to show that “yo valía la pena.” She tells him about the time she lost her virginity (which was not quite true)…yet he didn’t recall (modern relationships b/t men and women). Has her first child and loves it more than Borja. In the end, “no ha merecido la pena demostrar que soy una buena chica.”
S de susto
Only two ways to live life-with or without drugs. Police detain her and her friends for drugs; they’re interrogated at the station. They’re released and the policeman even said they were the sweetest girls he’d seen pass through.
T de truinfadores
Rosa’s perspective. Still single. 30 y.o. working and taking prozac (“O paz”). Notes how women must act like men to achieve in the workplace. 
U de underground
more sex.
V de vulnerable
Keeps a medication for everything…because then I know nothing can happen while they’re around. And when you mix them with alcohol…todo te da igual. Nada es bueno o malo.
W de whisky
What happens on the 17 of May for all three sisters. More desperation for Cristina.
X, la incognita
My family thinks I’m crazy. “El gran Porqué es ese hecho particular de la vida que te hacer ser como eres” (Post-modernism?) Bad childhood à destructive adulthood.
My Gran Porqué is Gonzalo (he would do touchy things-she was only 9, he was 20 + a few years later, her virginity… later notes that girls who were sexually abused tend to be more promiscuous as adults), her father (absent), her mother (crying all the time),
Y de yerma y yugo
Friends start doing more and more drugs. Guy names Santi dies shooting heroin,  but she realizes it could’ve been her. Realizes life is a gift and that she has screwed up many relationships. More personal psychoanalysis.
Z de zenit.
“una mujer fuerte siempre puede conseguir lo que se propone…fortaleza significa, sobre todo, aguantar, no romperse. Es una virtud femenina.) Is bitter towards perfect families when she had been through so much.
Ana, her sister, is dying (overdose of amphetamines)…each sister had their drug of choice.
Final line. My mother is Eve. But we are daughters of Lilith.

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